In this post, I will explore the difference between the journey and goals, and discuss how growth can merge with happiness.
I’ll start with a quote again. I heard a sentence on the Modern Wisdom podcast in the episode How to Stop Being Such a People Pleaser:
To be better, we don’t need to hate where we are.
Although this statement was mentioned in a completely different context in the podcast, it deeply resonated with me. Being happy with where we are should not prevent us from striving to be better. I’ve always believed that we need to make an effort to improve ourselves continually. This is not something born out of a sense of inadequacy or unhappiness. Rather, it’s a mentality connected to the joy we can derive from self-improvement. We don’t need to feel inadequate or unhappy today to develop our curiosities or skills that we must sustain and to keep learning.
The belief that happiness is being content with what we have and being happy where we are is something I strongly hold and try to place at the center of my life. However, this does not mean we should stay stagnant. In fact, we must not. Striving to be better, doing certain things more effectively, and constantly developing ourselves are, in my opinion, some of the things that make life enjoyable. In Kahlil Gibran’s The Prophet, he mentions that it is said that we are only as weak as our weakest link. However, he adds, this is only half the truth and that we are also as strong as our strongest link. In essence, we should strive to make our strongest link even stronger. What matters is doing this not out of stubbornness, purpose, or desire but simply for the sake of being better.
During cliché conversations that start with “I wish I didn’t have to work,” the most common argument we hear is, “If you don’t work, you’ll get bored.” I absolutely disagree with this. Working, especially as an employee in someone else’s company, can create feelings of dissatisfaction for many. Working for a shareholder of the company, rather than yourself, doesn’t add much to your life. We can’t overlook the experience, knowledge, and development opportunities it provides. It might also give you a good income or allow you to live a rich lifestyle, but unfortunately, it won’t bring meaning to your life. Even if your improvement in the company enables you to climb the career ladder—which is not guaranteed—the higher you go, the less your well-being improves. In exchange for the financial opportunities provided, more of your time, increased stress, and greater responsibility will be demanded of you. The scenario changes only when you use what you’ve gained to carve your own path.
I’ve met many people who dedicate themselves to the company they work for and make it their identity. A place where there’s always a risk of being shown the door if things go south is not somewhere to overly identify with. I’m not advocating against a sense of belonging. We can enjoy work and feel a sense of belonging to the company through concepts like achievement or teamwork. But going beyond this and introducing yourself with your job title or distinguishing others by the name of their workplace goes too far. (i.e. John from KPMG) I don’t think such people have a particularly deep personality—or perhaps they protect themselves this way. But these are my judgments, and I’ll set them aside to continue.
What you actually need isn’t “working” but making something better, improving yourself in various areas, and moving toward a purpose. Of course, we shouldn’t let that purpose become a burden because it could create stress, and the longer it takes to achieve that goal, the more stress and accompanying feelings of unhappiness will grow. Instead of striving for a purpose, we should work toward a system that allows for growth. Continuously improving that system, and gradually developing ourselves in the process, can bring meaning to our lives and give us joy.
Systems make us happy because they create a sense of accomplishment. As we see ourselves doing better than before, we begin to take pleasure in it. Goals, on the other hand, can be seen as temporary sources of happiness. The brief satisfaction of reaching a goal often turns into stress when a new goal is set. However, when we enjoy the system, the goals we set become irrelevant, and our sole purpose becomes developing ourselves and the system.
For example, I can say I’ve gone through a journey before writing this blog. I started reading a lot of books, which was something I didn’t do for quite a while. I was using Kindle, highlighting sections as I went. Later, I would extract the highlights and store them elsewhere. But I realized I rarely revisited those notes and forgot them. So, I decided to review the highlighted parts, and try to take notes for each specific one. This proved very time-consuming, and I often forgot why a section seemed important. Eventually, I decided to improve the system and began reading books on my iPad. That way, I could take notes directly in the Apple Notes while reading. This turned out to be much more efficient. I refined my note-taking system by using tags, categorizing topics, and keeping references separately. Ultimately, I started writing this blog as a way to prevent myself from forgetting the notes and to reinforce my understanding. Whether anyone reads it or provides feedback doesn’t matter. I write solely for myself. These days, I plan to improve my writing style and maybe take a course to get better at that. Meanwhile, I’m also making small changes to make my note-taking system more efficient.
“Being better” is, in my opinion, a goal in itself. There’s no benchmark, no measurement, no metric. There’s no destination to be reached. When the sole purpose is to be better than our previous version, it turns into a system. Improving that system (like enhancing a hobby, for example) offers us a delightful journey.
If we enjoy the journey rather than focusing on the destination, this joy and happiness can be endless. Because the journey is an ongoing process, it doesn’t end when we reach a point. It offers continuous development. On the contrary, when we set a goal and chase it, growth often stops at the destination. By focusing on the journey, we strive to perfect something repeatedly through constant improvement. The goal is not perfection, but the progress toward it—improving step by step.
This principle is explained in James Clear’s Atomic Habits. Clear says, “True long-term thinking is goal-less thinking.” Gradually building a skill or improving in any area daily will, over time, make us excellent at it. Compound returns will work their magic, and noticeable change will become possible.
In conclusion, let’s create processes to improve the things we enjoy doing in life. Then, let’s think about how to enhance these processes every time we engage with them. This way, we embark on a never-ending journey of development. “Mastery” will come closer every day. Repetition and practice will make us better each day, and we’ll derive joy from growth. Don’t set goals in life; create systems and processes, focus on them, and watch as you surpass the points you once considered goals. Learn to be happy where you are, but never disregard growth. Life is not about achieving goals—it’s about enjoying the journey as we become better versions of ourselves every step of the way.
The Monk of Abundance 